Be Not Kind

From the moment I walked in the front door I knew something was up. You just stood there for a moment staring at me. Whatwere you thinking? Was it love in your eyes or was it something else? I doubt I'll ever know. When you finally came to me and kissed me, I never wanted it to end. When did you learn that? You've never kissed me so deeply before. I felt that deep down in my very soul.

I trembled as I made our dinner. I had never wanted you more than right at that moment. Did you feel the same for me? How did we eat that meal? I remember so little of it. Your hand brushed mine at some point. My breathing was irratic. You must of noticed? I stole secret glances at your face. Did you know? You weren't smiling but, I think you have never looked so happy. Did we speak at all? I don't recall.

I stood and started to clear the table. Your hand, so rough, grabbed my wrist so firmly. Oh my love, you shouldn't tease my heart so. Your eyes were playful yet, your face stern. Where were we going, my love? I looked to you for some sign of what you were thinking. I had not a clue and neither of us seemed capable of speech. Yes, thats right, it was my favorite window in our shameful excuse of an apartment. Truly the only redeeming feature of that run down studio, the fabulous view from that window. I can still see the city lights winking at the night sky.

When you stood me facing out that window, was it all planned? Was every move calculated to have such incredible effect or was it all as spontaneous as it felt? You lifted my hair stroking it so lovingly from underneath. Did I purr? I didn't move a muscle when you unzipped my dress. When your hands fell to my shoulders and began sliding my dress off I could hardly breathe. I felt a sudden urge to stop you when your hands unfastened my bra. I was afraid someone might see us through the open window. You silenced my unspoken protest when you tore it off my body so roughly. You positioned my hands on top of my head with such force yet, I had no resistance. My shame standing there was only overshadowed by the power of my excitement.

How long did you leave me there? It seemed an eternity before you returned and stripped the rest of my clothes away. Some moments later you guided me to a chair you had brought over from our table. I can't describe the relief I felt when you sat in the chair. You were forceful in pulling me down onto your lap, positioning me so that my bottom seemed to be pointed straight up at the ceiling. If only I could find the words to thank you for bringing us together like that. You started spanking me almost right away. The first smacks were little more than love taps but, then something happened. Did I do something to anger you? Did you like that taste of power and suddenly crave more? Whatever happened, it couldn't have been more perfect. Your hand connected with my bottom harder and harder, faster and faster. You took me from moans of pleasure to yelps of pain, from grunts of frustration to tears of joy. You kept spanking me harder and faster. I wanted to cry out for you to stop but, I didn't dare. When finally you stopped and realized I was sobbing you seemed almost angry. What were you thinking then? Will I ever know? YOu pushed me to the floor and I cried even more. Discarded and worthless I stared up at you. Suddenly, you stood up and began to walk away, I grabbed your ankle. You looked down at me. Were you angry? After a quiet moment staring into my pleading eyes you bent down and picked me up.

Did you know my thoughts as you cradled me in your arms? 'Just hold me in the moment. Just tell me everything is alright. Just be the one I need if only for a little while. Take a breath and understand I have this need. Its part of me, right or wrong. Maybe you don't feel the same. For this I shall never lay blame. My heart is a mystery to me so why not you as well. Take my hand, guide us through the hesitation. Fear not my tears, there is no shame here. The warmth of your hand is echoed in my very soul. Don't make me ask for what we both so obviously feel and need. Love has become lust. Pamper me in the morning if you must but, not tonight. Take me as I am, be not gentle, kind sir.'